earth's resonance

i never post on here  anymore, and i just started a separate blog. not sure why, but for now i like it, even though i don't usually have anything very interesting to say.
http://diapersdigisdegustation.blogspot.com/

i still use this to read my friends' posts, as well as keep up with  various communities. and maybe one day i'll post on here again.

 Goodbye to my poor little Leo.  He was the sweetest, happiest cat I've ever known. He suffered from heart failure last night, along with awful complications.  We had to put him to sleep, which was the hardest choice i've ever had to make.  It was the most humane thing to do, but so difficult. He wasn't the healthiest cat,  but it was still sudden, and a shock.  But I will always rememeber him fondly.

anyone listen to the new radiohead album yet? i downloaded it but haven't had a chance to listen.  i was going to order the box set, but it's 40 pounds. i just can't justify it...i paid about what i'd normally pay on itunes to download it, i figure they should make some $ off of me...

i can't believe it's been over a week since Hana has arrived.  I hardly have any idea what day it is, or what the weather is like outside.  Every minute with her is amazing and overwhelming.  i'm  on a roller coaster of emotions (it sounds cheesy, but it's really true) , probably due in large part to the crazy hormones and lack of sleep.  i'm bawling one minute, then laughing the next, then crying again.  i'll be annoyed at being a just a 'milk machine', then excited to be able to provide food for my daughter.  my body is recovering well, which is helpful. i feel like i have a little more energy now, even though i only sleep in 2 hour chunks. this whole experience is much more than i had ever expected- although i had no idea what to expect. mark has to go back to work on thursday, and i'm already sad about it. but i tend to get sad about many things these days- around 4am last night i was bawling, thinking about Hana growing up, and leaving us.  i really need some sleep :)
i'm so worried about everthing- why she's not eating, if she's eating too much, why she's so fussy, etc.  i guess that's just what motherhood is!  i really have a new perspective on my parents, and why they are so overprotective.  it's really strange to understand where they are coming from.

someone is waking up...

born Wednesday, August 29th, 7lbs, 18 inches long! after a couple of sleepy days, she has taken very well to eating, and sleeping, and fussing before she goes to sleep :)


trying to post a pic, not sure if it will work. for some reason i can't figure out how to insert an image from a different site....

well, my first day at home was ok, it's very frustrating to be here, and not know when i'll be going into labor. the in-laws called at 9:30am this morning, because they just got back from a 2 week trip and wanted to make sure they didn't miss anything. joy. i appreciate that they wanted to check up on me, but couldn't they wait until i had at least had a chance to have some tea and wake up? although in a few days (hopefully), 9:30am will probably feel late to me.

i kept thinking about work, and would then realize that there is no work to think about. it felt very strange.

my sister came over for awhile, and took me for a walk. that was good. i needed to get out of the house.
i'm trying to have patience. the baby will come when it's ready. it's not easy...

everything feels a bit surreal. i'm sitting at my desk, clearing out my email inbox. i usually have a few hundred emails in there, and now it is empty! it feels so strange. everything appears to be under control, and everyone knows what they will be covering while i'm gone. i'm sure it will be chaotic for them, but oh well! :) it's so strange to have been at this same place for 8 years, and know that i'll be gone for over 3 months. and it's so weird to think that when i come back (assuming i do), my life will be completely different. it's pretty cool though :)

i shouldn't have made the decision to work this week. it's just awful trying to get my ass here even at 10am. my body is so uncomfortable!!!! ok baby, please feel free to come as soon as you can. you don't have to wait another week, or more...

Best part of the weekend- going to see Ricky Gervais live...he wasn't the best part (but he was funny). The best part was David Bowie coming out on stage to introduce him!!! Bowie comes out on stage, and sings the 'little fat man' song!!!! We were all singing along. so awesome. i didn't know if i should laugh, or if i should drool at Bowie. i did both.

oh goodness. I just had to interview someone, and afterwards I looked in the mirror and realized I look like rudolph the red nosed reindeer!! I've been sick for a few days, and I've been stocking up on tissues. I cannot believe how awful and red my nose and upper lip look. I'm so embarassed!! I bet the guy couldn't wait to get out of that interview!!! well, at least he's not my first choice :) one good thing is that i look horrible, so perhaps i can use it as an excuse to go home early today!!